if you take me on a date to a zoo, aquarium, or museum the chances of me having sex with you goes up by about 900%
the best feeling in the world is when you finish your homework early and you take a shower and you get to crawl into bed and surround yourself in blankets and pillows at 9:30 and go on your laptop and listen to music and take acid tabs until you begin hallucinating that satan is with you and allow him to guide you into killing your friends and family and eating their flesh before you sacrifice yourself to his domain
Avengers Gowns: Iron Man & The Hulk, by kelseymichele
Although the Hulk look is quite glam and pretty, the Iron Man ensemble steals the show in this redesign (unsurprisingly). The structured cocktail dress and the arc reactor pendant are audacious, yet beautiful interpretations of Iron Man’s showboating armor. While I’m not the biggest fan of strappy gladiator footwear, I do approve of the chunky wedged heel with this ensemble.
I’ve never met a smart person named Ashley
I have a friend named Ashley and one time she took the fish eggs from the top of her sushi and put them in a glass of water because she thought they would hatch
i work with a girl named ashley and she made me draw an egg on her boyfriends moms easter card because she didnt know how to draw an egg herself
so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside
when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again